A Very Pittsburgh Holiday Letter

Remember those holiday letters that your family used to get growing up? Perhaps maybe you’ve started to write similar ones yourself. Here’s one we made up just for your holiday enjoyment (and maybe a laugh or two!). Happy holidays Pittsburgh!

Dear Aunt Jacklyn,

Merry Christmas to yinz n’at! Here we are, done with another year. We’re just grateful and blessed to still be around at the house dahn Oakhurst St.

It’s been a helluva year. Donny’s knee finally did him in…he had to have a knee replacement done at Allegheny General. It was quite the recovery. All he wanted was Eat N’ Park chicken noodle soup and Ahrn City, but of course with them painkillers n’ at it ain’t happenin’! I’m surprised he lasted as long as he did since his original injury happened playing football 40 years ago for Woodland Hills. Since he’s been feeling better he’s been in a passive aggressive fight with our neighbor across the street. They keep stealing our parking chair! Can you believe it? Jagoffs.

Anyway, Bobby is a freshman dahn Pitt Johnstahn. He’s done okay, studying hard (we think) and he’s still got his baseball scholarship. His girlfriend Lindsay followed him dahn ‘er so they’ll probably want to get married straight outta college. I shouldn’t say nothin, Donny and I were married by 20!

Susie is expecting her third, can you believe it? Little Johnny wants her to name it JuJu after the Steeler.  Course she said there ain’t no way that’s gonna happen! Patty wants to name it after some new toy at Target she saw. I’m just happy John got a promotion at work so Susie and he can afford #3. He’s a Program Manager now dahn Westinghouse. We’re proud of him!

As for me, I’m just dealing with our new nebby neighbors. While Donny deals with parking chair thieves our new ones directly next door just moved here from Cleveland…I said congrats on the upgrade but geez Louise, I don’t want to tell them every damn thing we’re doing as we get in and outta the car every day! Other than that, I’m good. Getting the Christmas decorations together n’at.

Hope you like the family photo this year. I was surprised we got everyone to smile! See yinz this summer at the reunion.

Merry Christmas,

Linda

 

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